The First Person to Come Back From a Business Conference Without Chlamydia (originally announced as "Business Conference Without Chlamydia") is the fourth episode of the fourth season of Harley Quinn, and the forty-first episode overall. It was released on August 3, 2023, on Max.
Synopsis[]
Lex Luthor keeps Ivy on a short leash at a conference on the moon, while the Bat Family rents out Wayne Manor after Talia slashes company finances.
Plot[]
Riding in a golf cart with Nora, Ivy excitedly talks about the business convention she's attending on The Moon. Nora warns Ivy to avoid everyone from Thanagar as they all have Chlamydia. Their conversation segues to how Ivy would likely be the first person to return from a business conference without contracting Chlamydia. Ultimately, Nora gives Ivy the business card to Professor Hugo Strange, who she claims is a walking pharmacy. Putting away the card, Ivy finds a touching love note from Harley, which she finds sweet. Reaching the rocket, Ivy and Nora mock its appearance as the announcer tries to explain the scientific reason for its appearance. As the rocket blasts off to the Moon with Ivy inside of it, Nora claims the sky will get pregnant that night, and the announcer informs her why the rocket blasted off like that.
Inside the mayor's office, Two-Face and his goons tie up Mayor Joker and hang him upside down over the ceiling. Two-Face laments being unable to steal a rocket, and Joker is upset about being invited to MalCon. The Bat Family breaks through the windows, and Harley deals with the goons and Two-Face, only to get distracted by the rocket that Ivy is on. She wishes Ivy a great trip there and flashes her chest for her. It's then that Nightwing, Robin, and Batgirl realize that their weapons are gone, forcing them to fight the goons and Two-Face empty-handedly. All but Harley, who had her bat, deals with the villains and, after Harley has taken care of them, releases Joker, who compliments Harley for still having her edge.
In Lex Luthor's moonbase, his Jon assistants perform his daily preparations on him as he is interviewed by news reporter Clark Kent. Respectfully, Kent asks Lex who his assistants are, and they answer that they're all Jon with no "h" and that they're his PR team. Lex then asks Kent what paper he works for and learns that it's the Daily Planet; he praises Kent for not writing about the "undocumented alien" Superman. Changing the subject, Kent notes that he's been watching the conference for over a week and asks what its keynote is. Lex brushes off the question, and after Kent drinks the coffee served to him, he gets a major jolt from it and then asks about Lex's mentee, Ivy. One of the Jons passes on it as it doesn't involve Lex, but he contradicts him, stating his pleasure in speaking about her, and throws out several compliments surrounding her as a female CEO.
Down in the Batcave, excluding Harley, the disgruntled Bat Family returns there complaining about their lack of weaponry, which has foiled their mission. From the Bat Computer, Robin points out that Talia al Ghul was pilfering the place. Heading to where Talia was at, Nightwing tries to stop her, but is easily overpowered by her, who claims that their belongings were owned by Wayne Enterprises. Because it was at a financial cliff, Talia was liquidating their assets and announced that, effective immediately, they would no longer be financed by Wayne Enterprises. Before taking her leave to attend some business on the Moon, she gifts Robin a birthday present, but he complains that it was five months ago and wonders why she gave him a rattle. Outside, Talia rides a rocket to the Moon, which Harley claims she could have liquidated the rocket.
On the Moon, Ivy walks with Lex to the MalCon convention floor. By a table, Lex gives Ivy a lanyard for the conference, sees Steppenwolf's lanyard, and gushes over him. Ivy then calls him a ruthless overlord, which Lex, with his Jons walking beside him, gaslights Steppenwolf's history. As they walk and talk, Lex talks about the recent changes made in Gotham City about the trees, which Ivy notes she did. Reaching a signboard advertising the scheduling of the events, Ivy learns that on Day 2 of the event, she'll be giving a 45-second introduction to Lex's Keynote.
Returning to the Batcave, the Bat Family scrounges up what little they have for cash, and Harley gives up her 19 dollars, which Nightwing complains won't cover the electricity for his air fryer. Batgirl tries to calm everyone down and suggests they figure out a plan to generate money. Harley suggests doing a live cam show of Nighwing's butt, but Nightwing refuses. So Harley offers to rent her feet to old women who want their shoes broken in. However, Batgirl rejects the feet idea and thinks the rent idea is a better plan.
Afterward, the Bat Family, in their citizen identities, rent out Wayne Manor to two people named Jonas and Amelie. After receiving a binder full of facts, trivia, and local restaurant information from Barbara, Jona tries to open a door labeled No Guests, and Dick stops him from opening that one and the others. Dick then tells the others his concern if they learn who they are, but Barbara thinks it's all worth it. Still, Dick thinks they need to buy back their gear. However, Harley proposes the money be used to keep the lights on, and she teaches them how to fight unarmed. Harley notes that Talia may be right that they're nothing without their gadgets. Dick was opposed to it, but Barbara was interested.
Back at MalCon, Alfred and his business partner Cheryl sell their toilet wine, labeled white collar wine, to potential buyers. Kent tries some and notes how well it tastes and how his body is acting weird. Ivy wants to try some, but Lex prevents her as alcohol dries out the vocal cords and has Jon serve her tea instead. Lex then wanted to introduce Ivy to Talia, whom she already knew as Talia explained they met at the Evil Women in Business Collective lunch. As the Jons take away Lex, Talia talks with Ivy until Steppenwolf arrives on his companion beast. It's then that Ivy decides to get some face time with Steppenwolf.
Throughout the day, Ivy does everything in her power to catch Steppenwolf's attention, and soon, Steppenwolf invites Ivy to get some java together. The two chat at a table while enjoying their javas together, and Steppenwolf suggests they collaborate.
In Wayne Manor, Harley trains Barbara and Dick as Damian clips coupons. Dick complains that he wants his stun guns, but Harley points out that everything is a weapon. She uses Barbara's belt as an example when asked if it'd be suitable as one. Jonas then enters the room and asks if they can recommend any good Thai restaurants, and Barbara snaps, saying that it's in the binder. After he leaves, Harley is notified that Ivy is making headlines on the Moon. Down in the Batcave, Harley contacts Ivy, asking for details on her newest accomplishments. When it's mentioned that someone tried to steal Ivy's underwear, Harley asks if it's ok to sell Ivy's underwear on the dark clegg, and Ivy is ok with it. Ivy then has a sexy talk with Harley as her throat starts to act up.
Elsewhere, Talia and Lex watch two people have sex, and Lex talks about how everything in MalCon was his design. Talia then mentions how popular Ivy has been, but Lex refutes it, stating she's saving her voice for his keynote. However, Talia notes that next year, he may introduce Ivy to her own keynote. Taking a sigh, Lex notes that what Talia is doing is a sex thing and that she gets off on weak men.
Checking his feed on his phone, the Joker relishes what it has to offer, omitting the boredom of his meeting with the man informing him about grass cutting.
As Dick exits the shower and covers himself up with a towel, he realizes his behind is exposed and scorns the Jonas and Amelie. Rushing to the living room, he finds Barbara and Damian bound and gagged. Dick tries to untie them but is knocked out by Amelie, who uses Robin's rattle.
Before Lex's keynote speech, Lex pumps his calves, which Ivy questions as her throat starts to act up. Lex then realizes that Ivy has been speaking at other panels, which annoys him. He takes over Ivy's task and reads what she is supposed to, causing a bit of an awkward scene for him. Skipping over what Ivy was supposed to read, Lex reveals his Space Lex Earth Saver ray gun that would thicken the ozone layer surrounding Earth, saving it from its environmental problems. Once the floor was open to questions, a reporter asked if Lex had stolen her idea, which sounded like socially conscious evil. That question and others focusing on Ivy causes Lex to panic and overpump his calves to bursting. The Jons then assist the wounded Lex, who claims that Steppenwolf is working with Ivy. She confirms it, but cannot elaborate on the details of their collaboration. Carried by his Jons, Lex ends the keynote and presses a button, which opens the dome ceiling, creating a vacuum.
Amelie and Jonas try to ransack the manor, but Amelie is upset that the place doesn't have anything, and Jonas has already stolen all the good stuff. After selling some of Ivy's panties, Harley returns to the manor and learns that Amelie and Jonas are thieves. Retaliating against them, Harley learns that they're severe drug addicts, which makes them immune to pain.
On the Moon, all the event attendees panic and try to get on the escape pods. Steppenwolf offers to take Ivy back to Earth as he heads there to pick up his boyfriend, and Ivy agrees. Lex is seen walking with his Jons while drinking a cola, and Talia compliments how Lex handled everything. She says that she thought women were too "emotional," making Lex furious.
As Harley struggles to fight against Amelie and Jonas; Barbara, Dick, and Damian free themselves and pick up whatever they can pick up to use as weapons to fight against the thieves. Harley then informs the group that she can use the money she has earned to buy new security cameras for the place.
Meanwhile, Joker cackles as he watches the man who was in his office earlier die from an explosion from the lawn mower he was driving.
Trying to enter the password to the Batcomputer with the newly installed cameras, Damian quits and goes to bed while Barbara follows him. From the camera in the kitchen, Harley is seen sleepwalking and breaking Dick's air fryer.
Cast and Characters[]
Main Cast[]
- Kaley Cuoco as Harley Quinn
- Lake Bell as Poison Ivy
- Briana Cuoco as Batgirl
- Harvey Guillén as Nightwing
- Tom Hollander as Alfred Pennyworth, Reporter 3
- Jacob Tremblay as Robin
Guest Cast[]
- Andy Daly as Two-Face, Astronaut
- Paul Downs as The Jons
- Rachel Dratch as Nora Freeze, Reporter 2
- Aline Elasmar as Talia al Ghul, Livewire
- Giancarlo Esposito as Lex Luthor
- Keith Ferguson as Jonas, Steppenwolf, Groundskeeper
- Larissa Gallagher as Amelie, Automated voice
- Talia Tabin as Reporter 1
- Alan Tudyk as Joker
- James Wolk as Clark Kent, Male surrogate
Cameos[]
Trivia[]
- One of the reporters at Lex's panel at MalCon is uncredited despite lines of dialogue (4 reporters have lines in the episode but only 3 are listed in the credits).
- This is the first episode of the series in which Harley is never seen wearing her typical outfit. She was instead seen wearing her new bat suit and a more civilian outfit of a pink sweatshirt and pink sweatpants, although she does retain her black choker, fingerless leather gloves, and sneakers.
- Lex Luthor's space company "Space Lex" is a reference to the real-life SpaceX owned by Elon Musk.
- Lex's monologue to the people helping him prepare for his day is a reference to the film American Psycho.
- Billionaires Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg make cameos as attendees at MalCon. With this being a conference for villains, their inclusion is likely a nod to the belief that real-life billionaires are the real evil people of the world.
- German-American billionaire entrepreneur Peter Thiel's name can also be seen on one of the lanyards, implying he is also a guest at the event.
Gallery[]
